Time Over,Over Time

Time Over

Hope lies in a new dawn or so she hoped as she pinched herself before logging into her personal demon. This 15″ monster is giving her no response since last week. This day was no different. Yet, she showed ounce of courage in dialling up that dreaded number again.

Scene 1:

Infocom Nut: Yes mam

Miss Surreal :I am going to write to higher authorities.My system has crashed again

Infocom(in a shameless tone):we will fix it today madam.

So it begins, a series of misfortune strikes her as if she is the only target left .She finally logs in after struggling for 2 hours.

Hope is a fooling thing and every stupid deed never dies.Miss Surreal was hoping for shock free afternoon when suddenly someone knocked on the door.

Long dark bearded man with an evil intention on his face enters.

Mr Uncool: Increase our hours,this is not acceptable…gibberish…

Miss Surreal:I can only do it if you show me the proof.I work on data not your whimsical  demands.

Mr. Uncool brought his gang to further pressurise Miss Surreal.Yet Miss Surreal stood firm,it was almost surreal to see Gang members demanding money for the work they never did.

Our organisation is masterful in creating gems like these,when time is over,they feel they can pretend to work.These moron had so many oxymoron in their consecutive syllables that Miss Surreal was simply stunned.

After listening to their meaningless banter,she promised to resolve the issue by discussing with the Head.

Scene 2: Heated chattering at Head Office

Topic seemed Headless from the start.With no room for further cheat by the Gang Members.This looked an open and shut case.Eureka! Sheer confidence of Mr. Uncool turned the tables and it seemed management has suffered Stockholm Syndrome and out of nowhere,freewill was granted to Gang members.

Miss Surreal tried her best to convince the real scenario,but the game was already played,dice was already thrown.Paper was signed and oppressor acting as oppressed,took another giant leap towards making this space smell like someone has killed ethics and justice with a single knife.

Scene 3:Sheer will and perseverence of Miss Surreal,brought faint hope as if there was light at the end of the tunnel.This time,barriers were broken,judgement was reversed and hours were  deducted.

I could see the disappointment on the face of Mr Uncool and Gang and a feeling of elation and relief on Miss Surreal`s face.She had won a battle in this topsy turvy war.

Alas! Time was over to give Over time!!

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My Tryst with Allergy

“Beauty will save the world” – Dostoevsky

Drenched in satisfactory sweat, a harmless itch slowly turns into a monstrous mountain and my beautiful suffering begins. My story of dodging lesions on my beautiful skin goes a long way back. Like any obsessive online creator, this one keeps asking for constant attention.I first discovered this mysterious mud when I was 15 and naive.After weeks of hopeless allopathy(suppression of systems that make you cry),I happen to meet homeopathy wizard,who magically made my allergy vanish with harmless sweet rounded white gems disguised as chocolates.They say,”Homeopathy works on poison in nano form”.I was already consuming Chips and Bland Television,so I wasn`t missing the diet to be honest.I know,you are thinking this is crazy.Why am I bothered about allergy and how it can inspire you.Hold onto your already diminishing attention span for at least 3 minutes and you will discover secrets that can transform your life or ruin someone else`s.

After a brief hiatus of 15 years,I was revisited by this naughty evil again when I took my second dose of vaccine. Welcome back, you Devil.Allergy feels like a spiritual out of body experience.I turned off my satire meter and immediately took an appointment to see a skin specialist.

Dooms Day 2pm, Eerie silence, and familiar hospital smell.After an uncomfortable wait of 20 minutes.

Doctor: Hi, what is the issue?

Me:I have been having this allergy issue ever since I took the vaccine.

Doctor:Don`t worry,I will write you 3 medicines,one for suppression of symptoms,other 2 to suppress symptoms of symptoms.

Me(in my mind):I have been suppressed enough by my government,job and education.I can take no more

Me(After waking up from delusion):Will this cure it? Are there any side-effects?

Doctor:We can`t say for sure,we need to try and see.You are your own best doctor.

I am not sure what that meant but I understood there is only suppression of truth in treatment of allergy.

Me:Thanks doctor for you advice.I will meet you in 3 weeks and let you know.

I haven`t taken any pill that takes away my right to express.I decided to experiment and explore.Be your own alchemist or whatever.

Allergy is a funny disease,it is not understood by many but still exists.Just like ego or stupidity.For the next few weeks,I was eating momos and meeting my naughty neo,having pista laden sweet and welcoming my uninvited friend.Everytime,it appeared,I laughed and tried my best to stay sane.With time,it withered away.Now,it only comes occasionally to say hello or remind me that Dostoevsky was wrong

“Beauty can destroy the world”

Real beauty lies in letting be and staying conscious to every moment.Enjoy your flaws and treat them as jokes and you will see it mingle with yourself.As my incompetent doctor says “You are your best Doctor”

Until next time,Stay en-lightened and don`t be afraid if you have out of body experiences.Laugh it off and just go within because everything is funny.

“Eat Nuts,Eat Momos,Eat Pista and Enjoy the adventure”

Jokers of Joshua Season Y

Sun shone belligerent bright than my prospect of having a shiny smooth day. I put on my old Blazing black Shirt to absorb all the beautiful and ugly aspects of this rather ubiquitous epoch. I look up at the sky; scattered clouds, blazing blue sky, and angry sun sending me ultraviolet hellos. I meet my physiotherapist on the way as she gets down from her blue bike.

Miss Polite: how is your ankle now?

Me: Much better, thank you.

With a satisfactory smile, I stroll ahead only to encounter a strange-looking familiar man teaching Morse code to his cuddlicious(word of my personal dictionary) cute dog. I reach the garden and look out for birds. My favorite hobby is post-pandemic. Recovery of environment courtesy of human imprisonment has brought back birds and fear unseen for ages. The tree doesn`t distinguish, gracious enough to give space to novel ones. I observe the 3 masked muffled nurses in a new uniform, looking like they have just been released. They look eager to reach home and collapse. My new navy-looking, backbreaker arrives and I hop in.

I put on my headset with the hope to get some inspiration to handle Juvenile Jokers.

Whitson:(in his usual nuisance mode): I will stop this bus once and for a while.

Senior Officer: What`s the problem?

Whitson somehow lost his sense and threw a barrage of unforgivable offense on the Senior Officer. Before violent episodes could erupt, Whitson simply dropped off the lucky backbreaker.

A bus without suspension truly connects you to the ROAD: That’s Back Breaker, my office bus.

I connected to my favorite playlist and went into oblivion.

Beautifully decorated pot holes woke me up and I was petrified and excited to have another action-packed day.I looked out and saw a Local boy doing Yoga on 2 wheeler just to impress his girlfriend(who is unaware that a sudden break will send them both to Hell)

TezAadmi: Have you sold bitcoin?

Me(Bluffing confidently): I am playing a long-term game. I will hold for a year and see.

I can see men, women, boys, Dogs, DareDevils, and Goons racing towards our Noble naive Security Gate.I say it`s naive, as security personnel almost every time detect tiffin boxes as guns and give an ephemeral smile for his rather tame work. Other times, the detecting machine refuses to work.

A funny place to work where nobody knows what works, who works, or why it works. For my innocent binary eyes, the only thing that works is the sheer luck of our fellow sapiens. I begin my day with curiosity, hope, and courage. Curiosity to witness the next adventure, hope to see new comedians, and courage to face the adventure with my fellow comedians.

Mubbu: Good morning sir. How do you do? (He loves experimenting with English)

Me: It’s all good until I reach the Control Den.

Control Den has been my home for almost a decade. From 3 am adventure in the field with Bats to playing with Pungent gas to doing photoshoots for Corporate Paparazzi to searching for equipment that doesn`t exist. I have seen it all and beyond.I hardly take a breathe, when our legend arrives and waves me a scary hello. He is called a legend for reasons more than you can count on your fiery fingers.

Legend: Sir, we need to get that sample of exchangers.

I wish I could exchange this being with a more useful one(I thought in my devilish mind).

Me(Masking my muffled laugh): We will get it done.

The legend usually doesn’t walk straight or write a sentence without missing pronouns, yet he is our Great General Nuisance(or Manager you may call).

I take a few stress-free steps up this dilapidated ladder and meet Mr. Feku

Feku(Talking gibberish), there are so many of them that I make them all artists. They all have one-way conversations with the unobserved. Unobserved in this case is work and me. These Feku usually skip work but don`t spare me. (Why was I born in rain, Divine showering immeasurable pain). The personalities of these Fekus are so varied and risky that this job is no less than a red bull skiing adventure.

I enter dreaded ROOM No12 and it begins. Mockery of space, time, and resources with effortless ease as enter swarm of wily vendors to sign permits for work they will never complete.

I close my eyes and plan my day knowing that local goons and educated fools are ready to create another day of frivolous fun, unintended fun, and reckless run.

TRinng…TRinng..Phone rings

BigBoss: Check that pump, I heard it`s creating abnormal sound

Me wondering whether I should check his brain first or his abnormal behavior.

And It begins, my quest to solve another adventure filled with fun, fallacies,frolic and filth.

Until Next time, Drink Sanitizer and Stay Sane

Syllables of the Sunset

Absorbs gusty blows of broken winds on this riveting rainy noon

Dark desire of despair trickle down my face

I meekly accept and embrace

A simple wish to be one with the moon

An Old Friend Calls up and brightens your day

Suddenly Moonlight has a special soothing way

As I lay down to count my syllables,

rewind my mundane morbid routine

I wish I had the energy of my Teen

I yearn to flow and escape, lit up and spread

It’s these familiar walls, these securities I dread

Yet one day, I know I will be free

Be one with the ocean or a tree

Dance to the tune, timeless ravenous reverie

I lie still and feel I am me!!!

In this Glorious Sunset, I am finally free and there I see

Her reflection on the rising moon.

The Only Way to Enlightenment

Spirituality is the new entertainment and Yoga is the new sports and I am an Enlightened Fool.- My Sane Stupid Self denies!!

My first glimpses with this glamorous glittering glorious world of enlightenment began when I visited Isha Yoga Centre in Coimbatore few years back in Auspicious month of August. Energy is a funny variable, it can wobble about just by mere thought and brought back to equilibrium by curious Chanting of Om. There was a perceptible difference in energy inside and outside the campus.

After a surreal serene Welcome, I along with my fellow Enlightened Fool, entered the mighty mystical marvelous cave.All devotees sat down to meditate in the dark with a hope to get Sweet Samadhi by evening or at least a sumptuous buffet or simply a cosmic high. I was carelessly calmly curious. Intense activity of sitting down and closing your eyes(just like our government response to any legitimate issue) went for an hour with reverberations of OM touching every cell of my being. I was sure, I saw Halo, until I realise,it was a torch light lit by my noisy neighbor in a desperate attempt to find his leg or wife or wallet or senses.

Intense, tragic and funny experience stay with you for a long time, especially when the food is delicious. Fast forward few years, here I am again meditating with an ear to my Super Guru-Sadh guru and a funny dream to attain the ultimate. Only this time, my taste in spirituality was expanded by my lovely lively wife who introduced me to this rather unassuming extraordinary being-J Krishnamurti. Ever since I laid a hand on one of his book. I went on a mission to read ,read and read, listen, listen and listen, to whatever this eccentric yet extraordinarily brilliant man had to say about living or dying.

J.K as he is usually called by his followers, is an extremely serious and funny man at the same time.Yet,he denies space and time and questions mere mortal to explore comedy in tragedy and tragedy in success and thought in entirety. JK was always animated while delivering his sermons yet kept audience bewildered by his clever curious questioning. As I read, read and read,listened,listened and listened, I realised,realised and realized that I didn’t realise.He kept on pushing me to see the division and go beyond while I kept on multiplying my misery and stayed in treacherous time.

Essence of any idea only comes to fruition when you can brag about your new found fantasy or en-lighten-ment to your friends, foes and family. Life is seriously funny.But when you start taking it seriously, it ceases to be funny.The very word itself has the root in lightening yourself of all past burdens accumulated as thought. The point is, whether you see Halo or not, listen to sound of silence or desperation or hallucinate. My only goal is to make you realize that there is nothing to realize.

On this trivial significant silly road called life, you will meet teachers, preachers and saints. Hold your breathe, sit down and expand your lungs. There are jokers everywhere on your path, some jovial others a bit nasty but if you stay sick serious, you will miss the fun. Join me and other marvelous mortals in unraveling mysteries of this extraordinary creation or may be it`s just a big old joke.