Time Over,Over Time

Time Over

Hope lies in a new dawn or so she hoped as she pinched herself before logging into her personal demon. This 15″ monster is giving her no response since last week. This day was no different. Yet, she showed ounce of courage in dialling up that dreaded number again.

Scene 1:

Infocom Nut: Yes mam

Miss Surreal :I am going to write to higher authorities.My system has crashed again

Infocom(in a shameless tone):we will fix it today madam.

So it begins, a series of misfortune strikes her as if she is the only target left .She finally logs in after struggling for 2 hours.

Hope is a fooling thing and every stupid deed never dies.Miss Surreal was hoping for shock free afternoon when suddenly someone knocked on the door.

Long dark bearded man with an evil intention on his face enters.

Mr Uncool: Increase our hours,this is not acceptable…gibberish…

Miss Surreal:I can only do it if you show me the proof.I work on data not your whimsical  demands.

Mr. Uncool brought his gang to further pressurise Miss Surreal.Yet Miss Surreal stood firm,it was almost surreal to see Gang members demanding money for the work they never did.

Our organisation is masterful in creating gems like these,when time is over,they feel they can pretend to work.These moron had so many oxymoron in their consecutive syllables that Miss Surreal was simply stunned.

After listening to their meaningless banter,she promised to resolve the issue by discussing with the Head.

Scene 2: Heated chattering at Head Office

Topic seemed Headless from the start.With no room for further cheat by the Gang Members.This looked an open and shut case.Eureka! Sheer confidence of Mr. Uncool turned the tables and it seemed management has suffered Stockholm Syndrome and out of nowhere,freewill was granted to Gang members.

Miss Surreal tried her best to convince the real scenario,but the game was already played,dice was already thrown.Paper was signed and oppressor acting as oppressed,took another giant leap towards making this space smell like someone has killed ethics and justice with a single knife.

Scene 3:Sheer will and perseverence of Miss Surreal,brought faint hope as if there was light at the end of the tunnel.This time,barriers were broken,judgement was reversed and hours were  deducted.

I could see the disappointment on the face of Mr Uncool and Gang and a feeling of elation and relief on Miss Surreal`s face.She had won a battle in this topsy turvy war.

Alas! Time was over to give Over time!!

Advertisement

Tranquility, Mystery, and Peace

This was my Third Time at this magical place. A space that transforms a tired soul into a fiery Fighter. The sound of waves hitting the serene shore wakes us all up and reminds us to pause and play.I was ready for a new journey. With her, this was my first adventure. We booked a Night Train from Panvel and were onto our most awaited trip down south We consciously chose South Goa as our destination as North is too much noise for us to survive. Half asleep,half-dreaming, and half-listening to my favorite tunes, we were about to reach this beautiful place. Morning greeted us with a marvelous view of Palm Trees and the Glorious Sea. I was awestruck by the coastline, green and blue, and blossoming with life. Around 8 am, we reached Madgaon station.

Oh, I failed to introduce “her”.She is my soulmate with whom I share my dreams, diamonds, and fears.2 years back, we took a vow to stay together forever. She always has this curiosity to explore. We explored all possible options from bike to bus to renting a car but ultimately took a cab to drop us at our first destination: Agonda Beach. The moment we stepped on the lovely shiny sands, we felt we have arrived. A few days of tranquility is all one desires. This beach is strangely named “Turtle” Beach but no local has spotted a turtle in the last 5 years. Yet the government officials. in a clever bid to save their job, they are claiming that Turtle has laid 1000 eggs and now protecting them in these green rectangular shady nets. It is a mystery to tourists and locals as to where is Turtle? and when did she arrive. Queen Turtle may not have landed here but we were here to stay, swim and chill.

We tiptoed in the blazing heat to the nearest cafe and ordered a few mocktails. Away from the usual drama of city life, this place felt like a perfect one where the heart could settle, shine and bloom. We checked in around noon to a beautiful cottage with an open-air shower,a lovely garden that housed carefree cats. We soaked in our rustic home and headed back to the beach to walk, dance, and simply breathe.

Walking on a beach in Goa is an experience in itself. Tourists, travelers, and Goans, all are merged in this magnificence of tranquility, rhythm, and reverie. As dusk approaches, the sky turns oily orange as we soak in the sun, sand, and shore with an equanimity rarely seen in dusty city life. Every act feels relaxing whether it is humming an old song or making names on the sand. We soaked in every kind of noise, and absorbed all kinds of music from hypnotic to soothing to rock. Mesmerized by mindful melody,we went back to our cat-loved cottage.

My Tryst with Allergy

“Beauty will save the world” – Dostoevsky

Drenched in satisfactory sweat, a harmless itch slowly turns into a monstrous mountain and my beautiful suffering begins. My story of dodging lesions on my beautiful skin goes a long way back. Like any obsessive online creator, this one keeps asking for constant attention.I first discovered this mysterious mud when I was 15 and naive.After weeks of hopeless allopathy(suppression of systems that make you cry),I happen to meet homeopathy wizard,who magically made my allergy vanish with harmless sweet rounded white gems disguised as chocolates.They say,”Homeopathy works on poison in nano form”.I was already consuming Chips and Bland Television,so I wasn`t missing the diet to be honest.I know,you are thinking this is crazy.Why am I bothered about allergy and how it can inspire you.Hold onto your already diminishing attention span for at least 3 minutes and you will discover secrets that can transform your life or ruin someone else`s.

After a brief hiatus of 15 years,I was revisited by this naughty evil again when I took my second dose of vaccine. Welcome back, you Devil.Allergy feels like a spiritual out of body experience.I turned off my satire meter and immediately took an appointment to see a skin specialist.

Dooms Day 2pm, Eerie silence, and familiar hospital smell.After an uncomfortable wait of 20 minutes.

Doctor: Hi, what is the issue?

Me:I have been having this allergy issue ever since I took the vaccine.

Doctor:Don`t worry,I will write you 3 medicines,one for suppression of symptoms,other 2 to suppress symptoms of symptoms.

Me(in my mind):I have been suppressed enough by my government,job and education.I can take no more

Me(After waking up from delusion):Will this cure it? Are there any side-effects?

Doctor:We can`t say for sure,we need to try and see.You are your own best doctor.

I am not sure what that meant but I understood there is only suppression of truth in treatment of allergy.

Me:Thanks doctor for you advice.I will meet you in 3 weeks and let you know.

I haven`t taken any pill that takes away my right to express.I decided to experiment and explore.Be your own alchemist or whatever.

Allergy is a funny disease,it is not understood by many but still exists.Just like ego or stupidity.For the next few weeks,I was eating momos and meeting my naughty neo,having pista laden sweet and welcoming my uninvited friend.Everytime,it appeared,I laughed and tried my best to stay sane.With time,it withered away.Now,it only comes occasionally to say hello or remind me that Dostoevsky was wrong

“Beauty can destroy the world”

Real beauty lies in letting be and staying conscious to every moment.Enjoy your flaws and treat them as jokes and you will see it mingle with yourself.As my incompetent doctor says “You are your best Doctor”

Until next time,Stay en-lightened and don`t be afraid if you have out of body experiences.Laugh it off and just go within because everything is funny.

“Eat Nuts,Eat Momos,Eat Pista and Enjoy the adventure”

Jokers of Joshua Season Y

Sun shone belligerent bright than my prospect of having a shiny smooth day. I put on my old Blazing black Shirt to absorb all the beautiful and ugly aspects of this rather ubiquitous epoch. I look up at the sky; scattered clouds, blazing blue sky, and angry sun sending me ultraviolet hellos. I meet my physiotherapist on the way as she gets down from her blue bike.

Miss Polite: how is your ankle now?

Me: Much better, thank you.

With a satisfactory smile, I stroll ahead only to encounter a strange-looking familiar man teaching Morse code to his cuddlicious(word of my personal dictionary) cute dog. I reach the garden and look out for birds. My favorite hobby is post-pandemic. Recovery of environment courtesy of human imprisonment has brought back birds and fear unseen for ages. The tree doesn`t distinguish, gracious enough to give space to novel ones. I observe the 3 masked muffled nurses in a new uniform, looking like they have just been released. They look eager to reach home and collapse. My new navy-looking, backbreaker arrives and I hop in.

I put on my headset with the hope to get some inspiration to handle Juvenile Jokers.

Whitson:(in his usual nuisance mode): I will stop this bus once and for a while.

Senior Officer: What`s the problem?

Whitson somehow lost his sense and threw a barrage of unforgivable offense on the Senior Officer. Before violent episodes could erupt, Whitson simply dropped off the lucky backbreaker.

A bus without suspension truly connects you to the ROAD: That’s Back Breaker, my office bus.

I connected to my favorite playlist and went into oblivion.

Beautifully decorated pot holes woke me up and I was petrified and excited to have another action-packed day.I looked out and saw a Local boy doing Yoga on 2 wheeler just to impress his girlfriend(who is unaware that a sudden break will send them both to Hell)

TezAadmi: Have you sold bitcoin?

Me(Bluffing confidently): I am playing a long-term game. I will hold for a year and see.

I can see men, women, boys, Dogs, DareDevils, and Goons racing towards our Noble naive Security Gate.I say it`s naive, as security personnel almost every time detect tiffin boxes as guns and give an ephemeral smile for his rather tame work. Other times, the detecting machine refuses to work.

A funny place to work where nobody knows what works, who works, or why it works. For my innocent binary eyes, the only thing that works is the sheer luck of our fellow sapiens. I begin my day with curiosity, hope, and courage. Curiosity to witness the next adventure, hope to see new comedians, and courage to face the adventure with my fellow comedians.

Mubbu: Good morning sir. How do you do? (He loves experimenting with English)

Me: It’s all good until I reach the Control Den.

Control Den has been my home for almost a decade. From 3 am adventure in the field with Bats to playing with Pungent gas to doing photoshoots for Corporate Paparazzi to searching for equipment that doesn`t exist. I have seen it all and beyond.I hardly take a breathe, when our legend arrives and waves me a scary hello. He is called a legend for reasons more than you can count on your fiery fingers.

Legend: Sir, we need to get that sample of exchangers.

I wish I could exchange this being with a more useful one(I thought in my devilish mind).

Me(Masking my muffled laugh): We will get it done.

The legend usually doesn’t walk straight or write a sentence without missing pronouns, yet he is our Great General Nuisance(or Manager you may call).

I take a few stress-free steps up this dilapidated ladder and meet Mr. Feku

Feku(Talking gibberish), there are so many of them that I make them all artists. They all have one-way conversations with the unobserved. Unobserved in this case is work and me. These Feku usually skip work but don`t spare me. (Why was I born in rain, Divine showering immeasurable pain). The personalities of these Fekus are so varied and risky that this job is no less than a red bull skiing adventure.

I enter dreaded ROOM No12 and it begins. Mockery of space, time, and resources with effortless ease as enter swarm of wily vendors to sign permits for work they will never complete.

I close my eyes and plan my day knowing that local goons and educated fools are ready to create another day of frivolous fun, unintended fun, and reckless run.

TRinng…TRinng..Phone rings

BigBoss: Check that pump, I heard it`s creating abnormal sound

Me wondering whether I should check his brain first or his abnormal behavior.

And It begins, my quest to solve another adventure filled with fun, fallacies,frolic and filth.

Until Next time, Drink Sanitizer and Stay Sane

Sweet and Sour Satire Season X

Life is funny ,tragic and interesting at the same time, only if you keep repeating same mistakes in different styles otherwise it is dull, dead and easy-Shailesh Tripathi

Hope is an addictive thing and no addiction easily dies unless an external hit is experienced on Head-Show Stop Presumption

It looked a normal naive day as I stepped outside with dreams of meeting Lunatic Languid Lala,Sleepy Suspicious Watchman and of course my cuddly crazy morse coded dog trained by the most boring Moustached species on the planet:Middle Age Man.I strolled through a rather gloomy day,with clouds waiting to burst in tears as if they sensed my pensive mood.I prayed to God not to meet that Old man again.Yes,the one who hands me receipts and advise at the cost of my peace of mind.Ripping it elegantly in pieces.

I silently admire my neighborhood Fitness Enthusiast who is sweating it out with a freaky expression on his moon like face. I call him Road Runner, as he is always seen in brisk bloody mode. I adjust to my ever rebellious mask and see three dejected diligent nurse walk past me in Salwar Suit, each covering their beautiful face with red, green and blue Mask. With clock ticking down I become restless to get my day started or at least pretend to do something meaningful. I remove my sleek white airpod and my 6″ addictive companion from my black bag and I instantly find relief. Ah! The greatest drug of 21st Century. This 6″ electronic distractor, that lures us into believing that we are intensively engaged. Only to realize, we are just dumbing down an entire generation as there is no law on access time for miraculous monster.My Frankenstein and my friend, my fire and my water, my hope and my fear. All trapped in this strange 6″ Chinese product.

BEEP! BEEP! Schumacher Uncle wakes me up from my dwindling delirium. I hop onto my traveler and immediately take my usual seat .Another day of notoriety, madness and dullness awaits .On my way ,I deeply connect with vibrations of road, disappointed faces on the road and my dangerous dreams. Sudden increase in vibrations of my body indicated that Main gate of my Arena wasn`t far. I hopped off, skimmed through miserable faces, play acted at the security and took a deep decisive breath before I saw Mubbu waving at me.

Mubbu: Good Morning sir

Me(Trying my best to stay mindful):I am good,Good Morning.Can you drop me to my first pitstop:C2C3 Control Station.

Mubbu: Get in

Mubbu is a marvelous middle age man with enthusiasm of a child. During this short journey, he keeps asking curious questions. Sometimes I tell him the truth, rest is mere spontaneity and metaphorical inner state of my mind.

Among all the Citizens of my Arena,I find him among the smartest.

Routine dulls the mind-J Krishnamurti.

As I enter my fireground,I take a detour to interact with my younger versions.More vulnerable and less affected by this joke called Job

Faiz:Sir,We have a problem in lpg unit

Me:Did you inform mechanical?

Faiz:They arent picking up phone

Some of the departments in my Arena have this superpower of disappearing at every working hour.

I scan through process parameters,make few more high fives with my young batch and move upstairs to meet another batch of unannounced Jokers.

On left of my door stands Mr. Monorail and on the right is Mr. India, both giving not so comfortable looks. I humbly ask them to let me enter first. Security is a myth but not stupidity. It is real and raw and tangible only if you keep your eyes and ears open

Mr. Monorail: Can you give me permit for my monorail?

Me: Will you complete this before our government falls?

Mr. Monorail: I am making luxurious electric marvel.

Monorail here refers to system that enables us to lift heavy equipment not the failure project of Mumbai.

Although, this one has a strong potential to be a failure, only if it ever completes.

As I take in few more conscious breathe ,Mr. India vanishes before my eye. I had intended to give him a very important dull job: Valve servicing.

FBI can track Julian Assange but we at our Arena,can never truly guess the whereabouts of this unassuming potter head.

My day had barely started when I received my first call from Mr. Einstein

Einstein:Follow up on air leakage

Me:Yes sir

You have to defy gravity or logic or both to understand Mr. Einstein.

I pulled out my weary warrior,now faded but still absorbing my load:my gritty blue bag.It has a bottle,raincoat and fruits to save me on my adventurous field trip.

Only when I felt a moment of silence and a gentle rain in background,I heard loud longing voice of Sappy

Sappy:Sir,we can solve this line leakage today

Me(in slight state of shock):Which leakage?

Leakages in my Arena are more frequent than good morning messages on WhatsApp group.

I know, the analogy was neither poetic nor deep but neither is work in my RING.

I put on my Yellow Fragile Helmet, walkie talkie and a bit of sarcasm. I stroll down the stairs with sappy to start another day filled with frenzied runs, lost communication and multiple idiosyncratic events perfectly set up for another roller-coaster ride.

My relationship with Bluetooth, My Wife and mask.

“Don’t eat that Himalayan Salt Lamp”,I pleaded in desperation,exasperation with pulses of perspiration.Just like my bluetooth device,she simply refused to respond.Just another normal day in my life where my wife felt like eating salt lamp will save her time and energy to get up from bed.The Ingenious oriental Salt lamp,normal day and my wonderful wife. Readers of the day,fellow non-relatables and my vigilant secret judges,let me take you in my weird world filled with pockets of idiosyncrasies,misadventure and occasional normalcy.

3 things have always given me perplexing paranoia:dealing with my bluetooth head-set, wearing a mask in Mumbai and conversations with my wonderful wife.Yes,even I was surprised by how similar these 3 are in my life.My Eureka moment came in the year 2020 when I decided to buy a bluetooth device,get married and then oh! the pandemic happened and I had to wear a mask to go to work in this wonderful humid mood of my city.2020 continues to surprise me but not comparable to my wife`s antics like gaining immunity from eating salt lamp.Another beautiful thing about my salt lamp is not only the fact that it is my wife`s favorite breakfast but it is originally mined from a place in Pakistan. Interestingly, it was bought to bring peace in my room but now it is melting into pieces.

Mask is one of the most revolutionary movement that has happened,not only does it stop my breathing just like my wife, it also makes my ear grow if I put it on for long.And just like my wife and my government,mask doesn`t allow me to speak freely and people say its safe to wear mask(not sure about getting married). Even I am baffled by the similarity that cropped up everytime I think about mask, bluetooth and my beautiful wife.

Marriage is like bluetooth device,looks fancy from outside but as time expands,you realise it takes lots of efforts to make it work and sometimes not so funny thing is,you lose your vibrant voice as I did when I bought this bewilderingly confusing bluetooth headset after consulting my expert wife.I admire your bravery if you have ever got married and then bought bewildering bluetooth headset and spoken loudly.

On taking a harder look,I did manage to find some defining differences though.Unlike bluetooth device that only works within 10-12 m distance,staying miles away from your wife helps a ton.Yes,mask does support you and bluetooth helps you connect but when weather turns strange and connection falters,your level of comfort falls back to panicky comical state.Just like in marriage

Everytime,I wear a mask,talk to my wife and play around with my faltering bluetooth,I am reminded of this inspiring quote:”what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” and I keep going strong with my 3 marvelous musketeers.

Another normal day in my life,as I look grimly at my non-functional himalayan salt lamp, half eaten lavishly by my better half,melting away slowly as is my hope for another peaceful day.

Pandemic has drastically changed the world,men & women moving around in mask and I am still searching for a perfect one.Oh No,not woman! a perfect mask .After doing extensive research on google:I decided to buy valve type mask in bulk:the day it arrived, government declared it illegal(just like 500 rupees notes).Just like my bluetooth headset and my wife`s mindset,I fail to understand such tragical comical unpredictable turn of events.Yet,another day vanishes,I happily plug in my bluetooth,put on my valve -less mask and fearlessly move out to catch a breath.

Just when it seemed things were returning to normalcy,my bluetooth device again refuse to connect,mask turned sweaty and watching my wonderful wife smile made me fear for the worst.

“Did you eat that Salt lamp again,I enquired politely

“No,I was suddenly curious to try gardening,went to balcony to stretch my hands and plant a new sapling when my unaware hand pushed an innocent flower pot down to the earth” she replied without an air of regret.

And the adventure continues,sapling was planted back on terrace and I tried my luck again with bluetooth device, my misty mask and my wonderful wife.

*hear a loud noise

“Did you drop that salt lamp ?”,I rambled with terror in my eyes.

Flower of Creation

Rare,divine and rapturous

Lotus of Creation(Brahma Kamal)

From a miniscule bud to a blooming flower

Amidst terrific thunder,lively lightening and shimmering shower

Like All beautiful Creation

This one takes time,tendering and attention

As years passed by,magic is denied

For my mind was always occupied

As White precious petals unfold

Musical mystic story is retold

Comes & goes every year like a blessing

Auspicious August Occasion

Worshipping is a blissful obsession

In this moonlight night,it shines bright

Flower of immense significance

Keeps away energies of pretence and perversion

In all pure presence,devotional form

Sensitive soul, sudden transform

Flower of creation

Came from abyss to spread light in infinite

Watching this grow, a soothing sight.

Ordinary in Extraordinary

Like that falls from the mighty,her love is in perpetual flow

Rustic,real yet surprisingly expressive

It’s her eyes,profound,pure and intense

Boisterous bubbly personality

Her Aura signifies confidence and clarity

Joy mixed with affectionate abundance

Past,present and future,all at once

Dopamine kicks and periodic tantrums

Intuitive insight,inherently bright,metaphor of love and light

Rare reason,flowers in every season

Rains rumble her energy and emotion

Revitalising her soul and mind

Magical,mystical presence,an extraordinary find

Like an infinite invisible force

She effortlessly enjoys whatever life throws

Serendipitous,sweet and serene

She adores mountains,falls and green

Life in profuse,May I be excuse

For my existence was acute,she made it an obtuse

My music,my mirror,my muse

My reflection of love

I won’t prefer a sonnet,nor do I love an ode

Ah,mystical magical moments rarely demands a structured mode

As I dive deep inside her riveting earthy eyes

Oh stop! I earned a million dollar price

Beyond ordinary senses or touch

We flow together as waves,in blue and pink

Amplitude rise,emotions arise,frequencies sync

She sits with her eyes close

Inside her,infinite serene world she chose

Gently filling her grace and mine

In this dark turbulent times,my sunshine

She is me,I am her

More I absorb,less I can see the separation

She has taken this blissful body,for a special preparation.

My offering,my remembrance,my unconscious utterance

Her dwelling,Her acceptance,Her persistence

Her eternal eccentric energetic existence

She lights up everything with her surreal presence

Then it blurs,And All I see is,

She is me,I am her

A magnificent moment to revere

I won’t try an haiku or prose

Spiritual journey is of special significance

In her,I relish,revere and realise every essence

Let’s end this poem with a beautiful sentence

I am her,she is me,a medium to embrace the divine

Two pillars of my life

Younger one a bit shy,elder one never afraid to try

My powerful pillars,we laugh,love and fight

Each one is stubborn in their own way

Yet ready to accept differences in their stride

While younger one is artistic,eccentric and silent

Elder one is boisterous,bold and ambitious

Both are like violet and red end of spectrum

Rare,delightful and precious

Living life in their own style

Defining their uniquely understood meaning

Younger one expresses with gestures while

Elder one is blunt with words

Yet both flying high in the sky,like a magnificent marvellous birds

Younger one is nearby,while elder one away

I miss our trips together,those frivolous fights

Icecream delights,deliberating wrongs and rights

May this continuum of love,arguments and adventure

Keep us together in every trials and tribulation

For what is life,without a brother and sister’s unbridled celebration